Monday, 18 April 2011

Letter to Read (No. 46): It's My Party and I'll Cry If I Want To

Dear Ian,

AHA! you thought: this is the end of little Letter to Read.  We broke the little bugger! well, no, ahem, I've been busy with life you know, and waiting to be able to post something mildly interesting.

Well, I've decided to talk today about the party.

Check it out.  BEWARE this link has music.  In case you want to play it in one of your boring board meetings Ian  ;-) .  Don't say that Letter to Read doesn't help!

That's right, it's our party...and we'll cry if we want would cry too if it happened to you!

Let's celebrate the demise of Sandwich! Hooray! let's get drunk with cheap wine!!!!  Utterly ridiculous as there's little to celebrate about, but what the heck!, little Letter to Read is always happy if there are free drinks.  Yeah, that's right, you can just buy me with the promise of cheap beer by the gallon.

This is what the invitation says (my comments are inserted, so, you know, this was my reaction when I read it)

"We would like to invite you to meet with friends and colleagues - for an evening of relaxation, musical entertainment, with food and refreshments...".
-----> Evening of RELAXATION! can I get some free massages from the girls in...oh, no, sorry, that's not the relaxation you are talking about.  What else does it say, food and refreshments.  I'm highly suspicious of this refreshments thing.  I hope they meant ALCOHOL.  What are we, 5 years old?

"The electronic link within the invitation can be accessed multiple times by the same user to allow registration on behalf of colleagues wishing to attend the event but who are either not on site or without access to email".

-----> You mean, like people who are desperate to attend this magnificent event but are too far away from their computers to click on the button! hell yes, I'll help them!

"This invitation is for Pfizer colleagues and contractors at the Sandwich site.  Due to capacity reasons, it is not possible to extend the invitation to partners or former employees who are no longer with the company".
------> Of course! we know that Ian is very cost-conscious and we've got no extra money to spend, i.e., no invite for our partners! this money will be spent on helicopt...uh-oh, sorry, wrong post

"Please register for the event via the attached link..."

Enjoy your party Ian,

Best wishes,

Letter to Read

Monday, 11 April 2011

Letter to Read (No. 45): Friday's meeting

Dear Ian,

I won't go over our meeting on Friday because the BBC published already the information.  As I suspected, the meeting was as vague as possible.  Not a surprise then.


Letter to Read

Thursday, 7 April 2011

Letter to Read (No. 44): Going...going...gone!

Dear Ian,

Just a quick update of our situation. The 2nd wave of "letters" is landing on our desks.  They don't come by helicopter but they could...sorry, I digress.  The fact is that we'll be gone in no time...

Which ties in nicely with something a little bird told me: There was a meeting that took place this week in Sandwich held by the local MP. The highlights include (apparently) the MPs not having *a clue* that most of the research chemists and biologists in building 500 will be given notice in May.  Just like everybody else, they've been bamboozled and surely they were under the impression they had much longer time frames to work with.  Oh well.  Another one bites the dust!

The contractors also raised that they are not being informed of timelines and are excluded from Pfizer meetings.

True? half true? I wasn't there but sounds about right to me.  See, Ian? misinformation and lack of information are the real *protagonists* of this process.  Little star for you and your people, you are doing great!


Letter to Read

Wednesday, 6 April 2011

Letter to Read (No. 43): Town Hall on Friday

Dear Ian,

Finally!!!! There is a Town Hall !!!! sooo excited!!!!! (the third one after the apocalyptic 01/02, you know, the one where we were told that we would be jobless in a few months time).

Word on the street is that they will actually **tell us something**.  Can you believe it? wohoooo...!!! (we're hopeful!) The possibilities actually are:

1.- News about redundancy package
2.- Companies that will invest (or not) in Sandwich
3.- Groups that will be TUPEd

To be honest, I'm prepared for the worst, because I *suspect* that, although we hope very much that there will be something like INFORMATION, we might end up with rubbish like: "and the Town Hall today is to inform you that the consultation period will be extended.  Thanks and sayonara".

What will it be? what is going to happen? this poor little idiot of Letter to Read, last time there was a Town Hall thought (honestly) that somebody would get promoted or something, so I definitely get things wrong (sighs).

Take care,

Letter to Read

Monday, 4 April 2011

Letter to Read (No. 42): Dead or Alive


(Preferably alive): Required as it will be part of Raffle. I won't pay rescue, so you know

Friday, 1 April 2011

Letter to Read (No. 41): Disappearing bodies!

Dear Ian,

Oh well, I decided that I wanted to report a missing item: a printer (scary, uh?).  I hope we won't find the body in a bin somewhere in Sandwich.  That would be disgusting!

Things are *already* disappearing, including a gigantic printer?! we are bemused...last time we saw that printer, it was pretty much alive and kicking...does anybody know? where is it? poor printer, alone, scared...but hey, what do we know, you must surely start making money selling stuff here and there?

Actually, I think you should organise a raffle.  Yes, that's right.  We could buy tickets and we could end up with a huge photocopier, a few laptops, a lab bench, plasma TVs, you name it, it is here! otherwise I'm very much afraid that all of these wonderful things will go to the rubbish dump, which is, of course, cost-effective.

Have a nice weekend everyone!

Best wishes,

Letter to Read

Wednesday, 30 March 2011

Letter to Read (No. 40): This

Dear Ian,

This is just to let you know that from now on, I'll write intermittently as I don't have much to report.  The patient is still dying, the disease is spreading, everybody is minding their own business.

I'll try to write every day but it is hard to maintain a blog with no news and I don't feel that I should talk about my colleagues unless they want to write to you.  I for one, feel quite nauseated about the whole situation.

So, colleagues: if you want to say something, write and I'll publish.  This is your opportunity to get it out of your chest.

Best wishes,

Letter to Read